Photo-Illustration: Curbed; Photos: Compass
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Listen, it’s not as though getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue that it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. Here, we’ll find the actually worth-looking-ats, the actually worth-the-costs, and the surprisingly affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from all around the internet.
Absolutely abysmal out there. Looked around for a friend who’s in search of a studio under $2,500. Not an easy feat, I’m afraid. I mostly stuck to Bed-Stuy, because when I tried to venture into Greenpoint and Ridgewood, the inventory was utterly depressing. Did a price comparison at the bottom — two very different homes at two very different price points. Scroll on!
$2,800, 1-bathroom: Too steep for my friend, but it’s feeling like the going rate for a one-bedroom that’s not in Wisconsin. (That’s an exaggeration to make a point.) A little rough around the edges, but I like the pentagon-shaped passageway, and maybe they’ll let you keep the projector!
$2,800, 2-bedroom: Ya know … not the best, not the worst! Big kitchen, although that blond clapboard isn’t my favorite. Still, I’ll take it over a cheaper, darker alternative. More light than expected, and a good amount of space. I wonder about outdoor access.
252 Hancock Street
Photo: Brooklyn Rentals NYC
$2,400, studio: I have love for this teeny-tiny studio. It’s overpriced, but it feels romantic — like how I imagine dormitories at Oxford feel. Can easily picture pulling an all-nighter in here, penning my thesis. For an adult, maybe it’s less romantic? And the kitchen kind of sucks.
$11,500, 3-bedroom: Fab, just fab. No notes.
$3,050, 2-bedroom: This one is all about the bathroom. The freestanding sink and bath situation is really doing it for me. Hardwoods are good, too.
664 Jefferson Avenue
Photo: Courtesy the owner
$3,300, 1-bedroom: Call me basic, but I’m just a sucker for a floating bookshelf. Don’t mind the garage-y windows, either. Feels more like an apartment in Austin than New York, no?
$3,000, 1-bedroom: This place is pretty perfect, which is why I’ve listed it before. It’s a minimalist L-shaped dream. The kitchen is the highlight for me, but I really don’t have any gripes. Oh, except for one: no dishwasher.
$5,500, 2-bedroom: Looks like a condo because it is a condo. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Feels bright and spacious, and there are two bathrooms and a terrace that might just be a decked-out fire escape. Nothing wrong with that either IMO.
$6,600, 3-bedroom: Three-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bathroom duplex. Nice country kitchen with a Viking stove and fridge. Balcony and backyard. Suburban stuff! Could do without some of the finishes.
345 Stuyvesant Avenue
Photo: The Encore Property Group
$2,795, 1-bedroom: Two bathrooms, one bed! Sort of rare. Have listed this one before. There are parts that I like and parts that I don’t. Like: parquet floors, the light that the third floor gets, the black-and-white tiling in the bathroom, the skylights. Would get into what I don’t like, but … positivity.
$3,000, studio: Feels absurdly high for what it is — like, that Home Depot lumber-looking bed frame isn’t fooling anyone. But, yes, there’s some charm to the exposed beams and the loftlike feel. A lot of nice light and 11-foot ceilings.
$3,150, studio: Love a tin ceiling moment, not mad at the red vinyl in the kitchen, and the bathtub is pink! And ceramic. Yes, there are downsides, but I won’t get into them here in the spirit of positivity.
157 Monitor Street
Photo: Corcoran
$8,700, 2-bedroom: If it weren’t 8,700 bucks, I’d say this was a good find. It feels rustic in here, like a cozy country getaway — what with the exposed beams, the open kitchen, all those white walls. The window sucks? But that’s just a Greenpoint gripe. Bad windows everywhere you look.
$4,250, 1-bedroom: Brand-spankin’-new condo building — the windows are good, the hardwoods aren’t cheap, the black-marble bathroom has a certain serious quality. I’m into it!
$7,500, 3-bedroom: Geez, Greenpoint has really gotten too big for its britches. Seventy-five hundred dollars? I mean the apartment is fine — an updated converted loft with nice windows and two bathrooms. But that price point feels inflated as hell.
$3,300, 2-bedroom: Affordable. Claw-foot tub. That errant green vinyl cabinet. Say it with me now: Also, the price.
$10,245, 2-bedroom: Again, not in my normal wheelhouse. And this one isn’t particularly realistic, but I couldn’t resist those windows. I love their size and shape. I guess also having an indoor pool, an outdoor pool, and a sauna in the building would be nice too …
It’s been a while since we did a sales comparison. This week, I chose to juxtapose Tribeca and Sheepshead Bay — some fun whiplash. Suffice it to say the differences between the two are profound. In Tribeca, we have this three-bedroom, three-bath showplace coming in at a cool $6 million. You can really feel the grandiosity and seriousness of what this place used to be (the executive offices of the NY Life Insurance Company in the 1890s). Now, 108 Leonard is a landmarked luxury apartment building with amenities galore — pool, sauna, concierge services, roof deck, the works. Certain details have been preserved (thank God) — those fantastic arched windows, all the McKim, Mead & White moldings, the façade. The Calacatta Mandria marble floors are new, however. For more bang for your buck, let’s pivot to this six-bedroom, three-bathroom two-story house in Sheepshead Bay. For $1.4 million, there’s a lot to love here — the parquet floors, the cozy window alcoves, the particularly verdant outdoor space. Not to mention a driveway and parking space. The highlight for me? It’s a five-minute walk from Randazzo’s Clam Bar. Tribeca could never …