Close Menu
Global News HQ
    What's Hot

    Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan

    June 8, 2025

    Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode

    June 8, 2025

    Cudis Bets on Wearables, AI and a Solana Token to Drive the Longevity Movement – Decrypt

    June 8, 2025
    Recent Posts
    • Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan
    • Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode
    • Cudis Bets on Wearables, AI and a Solana Token to Drive the Longevity Movement – Decrypt
    • DappRadar: DeFi and NFT Upticks in May Could Mark Start of Recovery
    • Teddi Mellencamp & Edwin Arroyave Reunite for Their Daughter’s Latest Milestone | Bravo
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram YouTube TikTok
    Trending
    • Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan
    • Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode
    • Cudis Bets on Wearables, AI and a Solana Token to Drive the Longevity Movement – Decrypt
    • DappRadar: DeFi and NFT Upticks in May Could Mark Start of Recovery
    • Teddi Mellencamp & Edwin Arroyave Reunite for Their Daughter’s Latest Milestone | Bravo
    • The Secret to Staying Strong as You Age May be This Type of Workout
    • XRP Price Risks Plummeting Below $2 As Sellers Take Control
    • Diane von Furstenberg Fall 2025 Ready-to-Wear Collection
    Global News HQ
    • Technology & Gadgets
    • Travel & Tourism (Luxury)
    • Health & Wellness (Specialized)
    • Home Improvement & Remodeling
    • Luxury Goods & Services
    • Home
    • Finance & Investment
    • Insurance
    • Legal
    • Real Estate
    • More
      • Cryptocurrency & Blockchain
      • E-commerce & Retail
      • Business & Entrepreneurship
      • Automotive (Car Deals & Maintenance)
    Global News HQ
    Home - Legal - Supreme Court Candidate ‘Proud’ He Once Successfully Cross-Examined… An 8-Year-Old – Above the Law
    Legal

    Supreme Court Candidate ‘Proud’ He Once Successfully Cross-Examined… An 8-Year-Old – Above the Law

    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr WhatsApp VKontakte Email
    Supreme Court Candidate ‘Proud’ He Once Successfully Cross-Examined… An 8-Year-Old – Above the Law
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email


    Republican Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate Brad Schimel made his closing argument for the job and it’s about psychologically beating children.

    And that sounds like hyperbole and yet it’s what he said… out loud.

    Trump and Musk have put a lot into Schimel’s campaign, which they see as a referendum on their earliest days in office. What the dynamic duo got for their effort is a candidate hyping his legal chops by explaining that he successfully cross-examined a child to tears.

    Think the Central Park 5 prosecutors, but extracting a false confession from Big Bird that Snuffleupagus isn’t real.

    Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate Brad Schimel:

    “My wife’s looking at me like I’m a monster, and I was proud of myself. …I just psychologically beat the daylights out of an 8-year-old in the back seat.” pic.twitter.com/TiTPQOPCNv

    — PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) March 20, 2025

    Giving real “Law & Order: Special Nap Time Unit” vibes.

    Like a lot of judicial hopefuls, Schimel used to be a prosecutor, which is significant for two reasons. First, “I don’t think I looked at the road the whole way.” Reckless driving for the purpose of humiliating a second grader is exactly what you’re looking for in law enforcement, am I right? Second, when you’re a hammer the whole world looks like a nail and that apparently extends to putting a child on trial.

    Dad, we live in a world that has inflatable castles, and those castles have to be guarded by kids with sugar. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Dad? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Bobby getting sick because he was convinced to eat a worm, and you curse the children. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know — that Bobby’s vomit, while tragic, probably entertained kids; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, entertains kids. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that castle — you need me in that castle.

    Look, there is a way to tell an endearing story about cross-examining a child. John Mulaney has a stand-up bit about his Skadden partner father grilling him as a kid. But here’s the thing… the whole point of the Mulaney routine is that it’s from the kid’s perspective. It doesn’t really work when the adult is the one bragging about torturing a kid.

    Seriously, what is with these guys and getting their kicks making children cry? Judge Roger Benitez, a fellow Republican, handcuffed a little girl — and told her she was “awfully cute,” which… ick — until she cried.

    It’s hard to figure out what’s worse: that he did this or that he thinks this is a useful story to tell in a campaign. What’s the Caddyshack line? “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. Felt I… owed it to them.”

    Schimel’s wife might be on to something with this monster stuff. Let’s see if the voters of Wisconsin figure it out.

    Earlier: Federal Judge Handcuffs Crying 13-Year-Old Girl Attending Father’s Hearing


    HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter or Bluesky if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.





    Source link

    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr WhatsApp Email
    Previous ArticleDe Bethune debuts first dedicated US boutique
    Next Article B2B distributors brace for tariff impact with strategic shifts

    Related Posts

    Supreme Court adds four new cases to 2025-26 docket

    June 7, 2025

    Coinbase Beats Antitrust Lawsuit Over wBTC Delisting in California Court

    June 7, 2025

    Presidential Proclamation Announces New Entry Restrictions on Nationals of 19 Countries

    June 7, 2025

    USAA, AAA Sued for Alleged ‘Systemic’ Insurance Fraud in Wake of Los Angeles Wildfires

    June 7, 2025
    Leave A Reply Cancel Reply

    ads
    Don't Miss
    Business & Entrepreneurship
    10 Mins Read

    Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan

    Key TakeawaysA solid daycare business plan is essential for outlining goals, guiding operations, and securing…

    Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode

    June 8, 2025

    Cudis Bets on Wearables, AI and a Solana Token to Drive the Longevity Movement – Decrypt

    June 8, 2025

    DappRadar: DeFi and NFT Upticks in May Could Mark Start of Recovery

    June 8, 2025
    Top
    Business & Entrepreneurship
    10 Mins Read

    Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan

    Key TakeawaysA solid daycare business plan is essential for outlining goals, guiding operations, and securing…

    Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode

    June 8, 2025

    Cudis Bets on Wearables, AI and a Solana Token to Drive the Longevity Movement – Decrypt

    June 8, 2025
    Our Picks
    Business & Entrepreneurship
    10 Mins Read

    Essential Guide to Crafting a Successful Daycare Business Plan

    Key TakeawaysA solid daycare business plan is essential for outlining goals, guiding operations, and securing…

    Technology & Gadgets
    1 Min Read

    Mini Motorways is getting a creative mode

    During a showcase at Summer Games Fest, developer Dinosaur Polo Club announced that it will…

    Pages
    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Disclaimer
    • Homepage
    • Privacy Policy
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram YouTube TikTok
    • Home
    © 2025 Global News HQ .

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

    Go to mobile version