TMy Mom Gave Me the Best Hosting Advice—And It Changed How I Handle the Holidays

On any given Saturday growing up, a flock of aunties and uncles would swarm my home, pile their plates with food, and gossip around the dining table. Sometimes it was a special occasion. Often, it was just an excuse to enjoy each other’s company.

We’d burst into karaoke, dance, or a competitive card game at some point. Always, we’d end the night sipping steaming cups of chai, feeling nostalgic about the night before it even ended.

My mom’s secret to keeping things contained through all the chaos? A half-baked plan. In other words, plan enough so that the night goes smoothly, but not so much that there isn’t room to improvise.

During the holidays especially, this creates an ambiance that anyone—from introverts to chatterboxes and even the host—can all enjoy, without exception.

Here are the five ways my mom keeps her plans half-baked for stress-free holiday hosting—which I still use to this day.

Prep Food that Guests Can Help Put Together

While some people prefer a hands-off experience for guests, my mom falls into the team of letting them chip in. That starts with not fully preparing your food.

This could look like all the veggies chopped for a salad, but not yet tossed together. The ingredients for a cocktail pitcher are laid out but are not yet mixed. Put simply, you do most of the work while the guests take care of the rest.

This is a foolproof way to break the ice as guests arrive. Giving them simple tasks to tackle together helps siphon off the small talk.

Plus, it fosters the communal feeling of a potluck without the pressure of needing to cook a whole dish. I personally love having a task when I’m at dinner parties, as it helps me warm up to guests I don’t know yet.

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Leave Room for People to Bring Their Own Treats

Your menu doesn’t need to be fully decided day of. If you know someone is an amazing mixologist or baker and might want to bring an item, allow them to do so.

My mom likes to choose an easy category, like drinks or dessert, that guests can contribute to. Then, she sends a casual message in the group chat, mentioning that people can bring a dish from that category if they want—no pressure.

This takes some of the burden off the host to have a complete spread, and makes people feel helpful and involved in the occasion.

Have a Background Activity to Keep Everyone Engaged

There can be lulls in a dinner party, where you might scramble to entertain and chat with guests. However, having a background activity can prevent you from exerting all your energy.

Think: a card or yard game, karaoke machines, or music to get people dancing.

It doesn’t have to involve an extensive setup. Simply putting out the karaoke mics or deck of cards is enough to get people curious—and they’ll get started on their own. As a bonus, those who get sick of chatting all night will appreciate having something more playful to engage in.

Curate a Cool-Down Session

When the night is coming to a close but the house is still crowded, my mom likes to have a cool-down activity in her back pocket. In our family, that means bringing a big pot of chai to a boil and doling out cups to guests. It instantly puts them in a cozy, sleepy mood and slows down the chatter.

You can do any type of tea. Or, top off the night with a last call for wine or a final toast of champagne. This subtly signals to guests that it’s time to wind down.

Let Guests Linger for Cleanup

Everyone doesn’t have to be kicked out of the house at once. When it comes to VIP guests—aka, your best friends or closest family members—you can let them linger for clean up.

It can be nice to have casual company as you start to wash dishes or take out the trash. They might even be happy to give you a helping hand. It also gives you an opportunity to debrief the night and have a more intimate conversation after all the hosting frenzy.