When I was in law school more years ago than I wish to count, I believed that my professors would tell me the most important things I needed to know about becoming a successful lawyer in private practice—the career path most law school graduates pursue. National Association for Law Placement Report (Jan. 31, 2025) (reporting that 58.9% of employed law school graduates secured positions in private practice). After all, the American Bar Association Accreditations Standards require law schools to not only provide “substantial instruction” about legal research, writing, analysis, problem solving, and oral communications but also about the “other professional skills generally regarded as necessary for effective and responsible participation in the legal profession.” ABA Section on Legal Educ. & Admissions to the Bar, 2013-2014 Standards and Rules of Procedure for Approval of Law Schools, ch. 3, standard 302. In hindsight, after having held all the formal positions that a career in private practice offers, I came to realize that law schools do not tell their students, much less teach them about, at least three important facts that every future lawyer should know to succeed in the profession to which they are committing themselves. For better or for worse, lawyers are also salesmen, teachers, and bill collectors.